


incomplete.

by katiecarothers



Series: putting the pieces back together [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Declarations Of Love, F/F, Falling In Love, Hate to Love, Love/Hate, Poetry, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-12 17:45:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17472086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katiecarothers/pseuds/katiecarothers
Summary: every little poem i had ever written herremained incomplete,as if i had more to say,but couldn’t say those words in the right forms or word patternsas if i had nothing left to say,because i didn’t want to believe that she could be the one to complete me.-she could complete me and i called it Poetry.





	1. she taught me how to love myself

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, so I highly doubt that anyone is reading this. If you are, that’s a very slim chance but I’m glad that you’ve been brought here. This is a series of poems that take place from an Author’s POV about how much love actually sucks, especially when you don’t know that they don’t love you back but you have a glimmer of hope that eventually dies and you have to force yourself to bury it- but you never bury it too deep because someday she might need you to dig it back up and she might want that love then. its kind of in the format of “milk and honey” or “the Princess Saves Herself In This One” And it ultimately sucks but I thought it was good for someone who cries at 3am whilst writing short poems and now made them into a book.

It took falling in love with a girl

to realize

how alike we were.

For once in my life 

I knew why they said,

”You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.”

Since then,

I could barely remember

The reasons

I felt

So much

self-hatred.


	2. my 16th birthday.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This little poem is somewhat about a girl who wants to take her own life around the time of her 16th birthday, but she didn’t, because the girl she loved found a way to stop her (this comes together in latter chapters!) But also somewhat can be taken in a sense of coming out. The girl was afraid to come out and she’s forced to leave the moon (because cloud nine wasn’t enough of a high for her) because she loved her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t my favorite poem, I wrote this 11/25/18 and it’s January 2019 now so I should revise it but I’d rather not at this point.

The day I turned 16,

I thought that

I could take over the world.

The next day,

I was forced to leave the moon,

All because I loved a girl.

- _How stupid I was to believe I could trust you._


	3. i cant hate you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As a continuation of the last poem, the main character wants to somewhat hate the girl she loves for saving her life, but quickly realizes how love can very much overcome it.

I could hate her for saving me.

As much as I tried,

It never seemed to cease.

The love grew like a Sunflower.

The only problem now was to keep it from wilting /p>

- _Oh, how I wished love would die._


	4. whole again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This poem somewhat sums up the title of the entire book.

And I tried to write poems about her,

I tried multiple analogies and rhyme schemes,

But there was never a fulfillment

to explain 

the nights 

she somehow filled my mind

with ease.

- _she always found a way to make me whole again._


	5. i just hope she sees this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someday I hope  
> She reads these  
> And knows that  
> I still love her,  
> But it’s hard to express it  
> When I’m in one state  
> And you’re another

I began to write little sentences

that I considered the use of writing

for her-

I could never catch a grip and

Explain an undying one,

and with time,

the only poems I could write were tiny sentences.

Altogether, I came up with this.

_-i just hope she sees this._


	6. how badly i needed a resurrection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place when the main character tries to kill herself, but ultimately, the girl she is in love with stops her with 3 little words.

i remember

the first time

She told me

She loved me-

i was on the verge of suicide

And i sat there questioning 

Which way,

and while having that suspense,

i surely died. 


	7. she was my entire world; i was only Pluto.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An Instagram post suddenly triggers the main role to realize how amazing this girl she loves is- only to suddenly feel defeated that this love might not be so perfect after all.

And here she was,

in a yellow hat,

and a sweater,

with bright red lipstick,

ready to take on the world.

_-i wonder if she knew i wanted to be hers._


	8. she melted me with her embers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A more recent poem I wrote for this series, describing how one person can make you feel solid and worth something, only to reduce you down to something of equal or lesser value.

and now,

once again,

the golden heart princess

melted me

back down

to iron. 

- _i thought we were both gold._


	9. too lost to look anywhere but her eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The main role is crushed to pieces to find out that her love has now gone back to her ex-girlfriend, and though she wants to be happy for her, she doesn’t feel that, only lost.

I wondered if her girlfriend 

Got lost

In those eyes.

I wanted her too-

Because if she was lost,

Maybe someday she’d get found 

And leave her.

The only thing left 

Was that

I, too, was lost.

_ ~~~~ ~~~~_ _-i’d be damned if you weren’t the one to find me._


	10. the other sunflowers’ roots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> distance sucks. for everyone.

her roots were planted

only 972 miles away.

while mine were journey’s through cornfields longer.

and even though 

i planned to travel afar,

she still decided

to let my heart

wander.

__-the distance sucked for all three of us._ _

* * *


	11. if only you talked about me like that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy for her friend, but heartbroken to lose the girl she loves to someone else, the main role is heartbroken to see a poem written to her lovers’ new girl.

she wrote a poem for her,

building palaces of paragraphs,

and cathedrals of rhymes.

if only she saw my collection for her,

then maybe it’d change

and be fine.

~~__~~ __**_ _ ** _ _ _-if only you could talk about me like that._


	12. just another fish in the sea.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After anonymously letting her lover know of her feelings, the main character is saddened to realize that her lover sees her just as everyone else.

I anonymously told her

That I

Wanted to take her out for smoothies

And a milkshake-

And she told me that she

Wanted to do that

With all her friends.

_-i guess i was just like everyone else to you._


	13. replaceable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the main role realizes she’s been replaced and is struggling to move on.

and I hated to read

the complete writing

she had made for her,

describing her

as if she had been

in love with her soul mate

because i remember her saying

such similar words

to me.

_-thats when i realized how easily i can be replaced._


	14. heart attack.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh boy do i need to summarize this at this point?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why are you people reading this? It’s actually giving me a heart attack- 17 comments (Thanks TyTheScienceGuy)

heart attack

_noun_

a sudden and sometimes fatal occurrence of coronary thrombosis, typically resulting in the death of part of a heart muscle

-

heart attack

___noun_

a sudden and full-time worrisome occurrence of regret from professing your love for someone, typically resulting in overheated body, heart throbs, and teardrops. 


	15. how it all shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they say to follow your heart, but if your heart is in a million pieces, which piece do you follow?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, if you’re reading this, please tell me about my spelling errors, I got my nails done last week and typing isn’t my best skill at the moment.

how stupid

i was

to let someone

651 miles away

steal my heart

and run away with it.

- _did you trip before you dropped it?_

 


	16. i wish my love would wash away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maybe burying it wasn’t a good idea.  
> maybe it’s better to wash it all away.

my memory,

like the water,

always receding,

reminding me of how much i loved her

and swaying back to how much i wish it

would stop.

- _if only this water would wash away for good._


	17. i found my hidden treasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And you found my poems  
> As if it were a hidden treasure  
> That you were never looking for.  
> But I was,  
> For once,  
> The one awarded with a jewel.

she didn’t like my poetry,

not because it was bad,

but because she knew 

that i 

constructed every 

single word

for her.

_-but i wouldn’t be the poet i am without her._


	18. from heartbroken to a princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> once upon  
> a time  
> the Princess  
> rose from the ashes  
> her dragon lovers  
> made for her.  
> -how’s that for a happy ending?

once upon

a time

the princess

crowned herself a queen

because the golden heart princess

was not going

to degrade her

to iron.

_-a crown of happy endings._


	19. the queens first proclamation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning to a positive chapter, because truthfully, as much as a person makes you feel happy, they do not define your happiness- you do.

as queen of this castle,

my first proclamation 

is to put myself first.

because though

she taught me 

how to love myself

it was my turn 

to rule

my own kingdom.

_-i thank god everyday that you showed me how to rule._


	20. someday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some day, I hope that my writings may fulfill the requirement of “poetry standards.” No, not all poetry has to rhyme, but the world has tried to fool me that it must- as queen, I must declare that someday i will change that.

as of now,

i will never

be able

to write

about 

the princess

who saved me

enough to fit

our broken societies’ standards.

but someday,

my throne

will be filled 

with cathedrals

and rhymes 

that the world 

will be forced

to love.

_-it’s about time i stop letting my broken poems rule my throne._


	21. i will never forget you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> even if you made me feel incomplete, you are also the person who showed me i can easily be restored.

My heart

will always 

remember her

even if it

means

the deepest pits

of hell

must shout

her name

from my

recovering heart.

because if it

were not

for her

i would have 

never

become 

incomplete.

- _and more importantly, put back together._


	22. you have permission to break my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’d be honored to have my heart broken by you.

i will 

never

let her

linger

from my

memory

because though 

she s h a t t e r e d 

my heart

into so many

pieces-

she carries

the biggest ones

with honor.

_-you are the only girl with permission to break my heart._


	23. the queen without a crown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A queen does not need a ceremony or crown to be a queen- she’s born into it or she fights her way for the title. Thank you for teaching me how to fight.

i did not need

a royal ceremony

to crown myself

a queen-

just a bit 

of moondust 

and iron

donated

from a 

princess.

_-i thank you for showing me how to make my own crown._


	24. love is like a flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> your love is like a flower. it didn’t take me that long to bloom since i had so much sunshine and enough rain to keep me stable. sometimes i hated the rain, but i know it worked out for the best.

dear princess,

thank you

for showing

me

how to 

look at 

a seed

and see

a flower.

_-this flower may never wilt, but it will definitely bloom like no other._


	25. better & brighter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i guess we are both better and bright now, aren’t we?

there came

a time

when i 

realized

that i 

did not need

a relationship

to make 

me 

happy.

_-i guess we’re both better & brighter now, aren’t we? _


	26. an irony reprise.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maybe i am iron, but you found a way to make me feel golden- and that was what mattered.

last year,

i learned that iron

is soft

until it meets

its carbon.

maybe i was 

anything but

iron

because i

was hardened

until i met you.

_-but i sure as hell am good at pretending to be gold._


	27. 1000 words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my thousandth word dedicated to you. are you proud of yourself yet?

_revenge._

the o n l y 

word that

i want

to give 

you.

but i 

will 

never

give you

the pain

you 

have given

to me.

_-that’s how it feels to love and hate someone all at once._


	28. rose from the ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i came too close to your flame and you melted me with your embers.

for the 

last year

i have

given you

more love

than i 

have given

myself.

in return,

you let me

burn

until i 

became 

n o t h i n g

but dust.

_-but im risen from the ashes and i hope that burns._


	29. broken.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> though i am broken,  
> i will do whatever it takes  
> to put my pieces   
> back together.  
> -remember that you still hold the biggest ones with honor.

i will

never

ask you

for anything

but my

last piece

of 

happiness.

_-but i’m a bit too broken to receive that back from you, so all i ask is that you take care of it._


	30. and boy, did that sting.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another reason i hate flowers is for the bee stings that come before the wilting.

it was

quite the 

irony

that you 

took so much 

pride

in being 

a bumblebee.

_-i thought they said that bumblebees couldn’t sting?_


	31. in the end

in the end,

the princess

saved me

after all

because

the kindgom

 learned 

to love

the scriptures 

written

by the queen.

_-this is just a start to a happy ending._


End file.
